I recently attended a symposium for work. Alone. This introvert was terrified. My face flushed, my eyes darted around the banquet room, my hands shook; to look at me, you’d thought I was being chased by Freddy Krueger. “This is ridiculous,” I told myself. “You are a grown woman. Snap out of it!” Do you feel the same? Do you attend networking events solo? Here are three things I did to make myself feel (a little) more comfortable:
Loners – Surveying the room, everyone I saw had a companion. I looked for a table in the center of the room, where I could face the podium without turning my chair around, with no other tables between it and the beverage tables, and with one other person sitting at it, preferably a lone female like me. (Not that I’m picky or anything.) I found the situation I was looking for and approached the lone female. She just happened to be the organizer. At first, it was a good thing because it gave me a topic of conversation (“Oh, you’re Jane? You’re the one sending the helpful emails?”), but soon she was distracted by all the details she had to handle. She also attracted a couple of out-of-town participants who ended up sitting at our table for six, and now the three of them had business to discuss. Two other women sat with us, but they were from the same company and immediately started talking shop. If you don’t see a familiar face when you walk in the room, I recommend going to the refreshment table and listening to the conversations while you pick up food and/or a beverage. See if you can discover someone else who is attending alone, or people who are talking about something you’re interested in. Try to keep the conversation going and gravitate to a table with them. On arrival, ask if they expect anyone else. If they aren’t, sit down. People usually won’t be so rude as to ask you to leave.
Speechify – I’m new at my company, so I don’t have a good elevator speech yet. I tried my latest version on my table mates. When they asked me questions, it gave me the opportunity to hone it. Their questions revealed where the speech was weak and allowed me to revise it for the next delivery. It also gave me an opportunity to ask them for theirs to see if I could incorporate any of their style into mine.
Commonality – I looked for common ground. It was brutally cold that day and an impending polar vortex was headlining, so talking about the weather was a no-brainer. One of my table mates got on her phone and made transportation arrangements to dance class for her daughter, so asking her about her children was obvious. Another table mate had a Louis Vuitton tote, so complimenting her on it was easy. I also asked follow up questions. When they talked about the suspicious chicken salad at lunch, I asked one of my table mates for her chicken salad recipe. When my husband texted me a funny meme featuring a dog, I asked my table mates if they liked dogs and showed it to them.
I lived through the event and congratulated myself for hiding my social awkwardness for eight hours. I have another one coming up. If you have any suggestions for me, please leave a comment below!
That first time can definitely be awkward & brutal, but I have found that looking for someone whose body language expresses your feelings, gives you the opportunity to be an encouragement to them. Asking God where to sit, may seem trivial, but benificial. Good insight, Mardi, you never let a learning opportunity escape you.